Dear Bectacular,

I currently live with my boyfriend and am getting to the point that I think he has a mistress. For the last 2 years he has worked 8-5 and couldn’t wait to come home to me. Lately he’s been talking about a specific girl from work quite a lot. On top of that he now “works late” and has “work functions” that didn’t exist before. Not only that but I’m never invited to anything anymore. I have also have noticed that they’ve been text messaging but I haven’t read anything yet. I only saw her name in his phone. My gut tells me yes but I just don’t know. We’ve been together about 2 years and I do love him. I’m afraid that if I say something and he’s not cheating on me it’ll ruin the relationship. Should I confront him or not?

Dear Miss Non-Confrontational,

Yes, Yes, Yes and YES! You totally need to confront him that is so not cool. Instead of accusing him of cheating why don’t you put the scenario back on him and say:

“Honey, I have something I need to ask you. How would you feel if I came home after a long day at work at talked about another dude? How would you feel if I always had to work late and excluded you from my work functions? Lastly how would you feel if on top of all that you noticed that we were texting?”

See how he responds. I guarantee roles reversed he would not be a happy camper. The fact that you’re excluded from the functions puts some doubt in my head. He should be treating you like a princess not leaving you at home alone.

Truth is any guy that is truly into you will find every way to be with you and not every way to be away from you. Before I even comment on the cheating aspects, it sounds like he has already made his decision to spend his time away from home. Stick to your instincts you already know its bad news even without another girl having to be in the picture.

Now do I think he has a mistress? It sounds like a good possibility that things could be moving in that direction if they aren’t there already. The bottom line is that it seems you’re not at the top of his priority list. Sounds like he has some priority shifting to do or he can shift himself right out of the equation.

Please do me a favor and protect your heart. Remember that you deserve nothing but the very best life has to offer. Anyone that says they love you should treat you as such. Being with someone who thinks you’re the top of charts is a good start. Good Luck!

Remember, You’re a Totally Rockin’ Chick!

Bectacular